capture those moments

cheryl francisca 23 nov 88’ <3 ly, God, family, thesexies, asher my keys, singing yea!

Saturday, November 27, 2004, Saturday, November 27, 2004

I've come to believe that my mother is more than just the woman in my life who raised me up from birth. She has become my friend, my confidante, my psychiatrist and counsellor, my doctor, my heroine, my messenger from God. Weird things have been happening, and I can't help but tell her my woes and somehow, everything she seems to say just feels like it's God answering my prayers. Why didn't I believe her when she told me that it's just meant to be this way, foresight that i was never able to have, until now. And i greatly thank her for everything, for just being that woman in my life.

Somehow i feel like i'm losing my friends, losing those i once cared for, and i'm really scared of what's ahead. I know this sounds so immature, but i really wish i could turn back time and change a few things. It's time I have to let go, but till then when i finally do, i'll need a friend to turn to.

"Til I Can Make It On My Own", by Billy Gilman

I'll need time to get you off my mind
I may sometimes bother you,
try to be in touch with you
Even ask too much of you, from time to time
Now and then, Lord, you know I'll need a friend
And 'til I get used to losing you, let me keep on using you
Til I can make it on my own

I'll get by, but no matter how I try
There'll be times that you know I'll call
Chances are my tears will fall
And I'll have no pride at all, from time to time
But they say, oh, there'll be a brighter day
But 'til then I lean on you, that's all I mean to do
Til I can make it on my own

Surely someday I'll look up and see the morning sun
Without another lonely night behind me
Then I'll know I'm over you and all my cryin's done
No more hurtin memories can find me
But til then, Lord, you know I'm gonna need a friend
Til I get used to losing you, let me keep on using you
Til I can make it on my own

I think I understand, you don't have to go on. Just thought somehow that i'd just say what i really feel inside. As i said before, you're meant for greater things and I still stick to it. Sorry for what I've done these past few times, being totally selfish and irritating, but maybe losing a part of me is just very unfamiliar to me. And now i know i've to learn to live with it, it's time i'm gonna have to push and force myself on, i know for sure that i'm not alone, cause i know i've still got you and many others, not to forget that greater power above us all. i'll be fine, you don't have to worry.I'll still be a friend if you'll let me and not to forget all the spongebob-ness fun we're supposed to have. :) i hope you're still on about that.

I'm just a little shaken here and there, stumbled a little, cried a little, gotten hurt a bit but it's all part of accepting. I know what i've to do and i won't press on it any longer. I know it doesn't feel good for you too but i know you're strong and i will be too. Go for it, you have my support.

~~and if you're ready to forgive me and let bygones be bygones, you know i'll be waiting for your call.~~