capture those moments

cheryl francisca 23 nov 88’ <3 ly, God, family, thesexies, asher my keys, singing yea!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005, Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Thoughts of you run down my mind every night. I don't know if you're even listening.
i feel like crap, all cause of you.
is it me, or is it you that's making me feel this way.

sometimes i feel like i should just go and join the women's club. i feel so unspecial. so nothing.. that only replacement when i'm remembered when you're free.
I don't wanna hear any more sorries, cause they just don't mean anything anymore unless you show me something that'll change.

i wish everything would just stop and return to the times when everything was still fresh. they say that the more you can't get someone, the harder you'll try to reach out and do everything to win her heart, you'll long, you'll yearn and pine and secretly hope that things will work out.

then poof** when it's all done and you succeed, somehow you got the girl, everything doesn't seem to matter that much as before. You don't have to be on the ball all the time, worried about how you treat her, how you behave in front of her, sometimes you even forget that she's there.. some would call it the comfort zone. yea yea whatever, i think that's total bullshit. So does it all mean you don't show any affection anymore after you've gone there, got what you wanted and then just leave it to be stale.

love is like a plate of fresh food. you got it smellin good and tasting good, then there's the after part where you gotta try to learn how to make sure it stays that way and not turn bad and smell. that's when you know, you gotta throw the old ones out and make way for the new ones.. but then we all don't ever wanna end up in that position don't we?

damn. i feel so bloody.. i don't know. i don't have much to complain or say anymore, and people are saying that i'm the one victimising people. really? how come i'm the one here getting victimised by emotional abuse? i'm sick of everything. i'm sick of being called around like some lackey, like some dog. haven't you thought about me? why am i always thinking of what would be good for you. i'm tired. i'm battered and hell am i scared to surrender and give myself up.

you know,
and i wannna walk with you, on a cloudy day,
in fields where the yellow grass grows knee high, so won't you try to come away with me.
so come away with me, on a mountain top, come away with me and i'll never stop loving you..
and i.. wanna wake up with the rain, falling on a tin roof, while im safe there in your arms so all i ask is for you, to come away with me.. just lose yourself and stop being yourself for a moment. maybe there are things you have never noticed before.

i've been looking at people and how they change with the times, but lately all i'm seeing are people,
throwing love away and losing their minds..
so what's the glory of living? doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore, and if it never lasts forever tell me..
what's forever for?..
why we had to each be lonely? it was just the season.. i hope..

anyways, so much for all that shit above, hope you don't mind my ranting cause i really needed to scratch something. Choir today was pretty alright, boring actually but we managed to finally start off with Usahay!! And i didn't miss any of it!! it sounded NICE... nicer than the MIDI file i did up. i learned tagalog today!! happy shits. :) <-- BOBBY! yea talking about bobby, i'm going to watch Spongebob with MM soon, and i'm so excited. hope we can arrange things real quick. this one week of holidays isn't exactly going to help me much ya know.. i'm like wasting my time away at choir practices yada yada.. and there's the London Community Gospel Choir, a very renowned choir which sang for many soundtracks of movies and co-sang with artistes like Celine Dion etc. I so want to hear them, anything gospel.. i'd be willing to go.. but then yea.. i promised someone i'd go for AJC Choir Concert so yea. i hope there'll be other chances..

yea.. i don't know why i'm forcing myself to blog so late at night even though i'm so tired. and my tiredness just keeps snowballing, it keeps me so dead in the day and so 'alive' at night. oh wells. what irony. nowadays life is just pretty much like on my own without any friends and all, everyone's kinda busy with their cliques and their own new circles and no one bothers to contact u anymore. so much about best friends and all that shit.. everyone's really changing and i can't do anything. bleahx.

somehow i still think people still oppose to us. it's terrible. i don't know what's so bad about me. i know i suck, i know people all think that i'm like some kinda slut and everything... and he's the one who's being blinded, like i'm some sorta witch who bewitches people with my evil magic potions and all. i'm damn hurt. oh wells. i shouldn't be bringing this up again. can't be bothered anymore, let people think what they want. cause it's not them that's seeing things from our angle. leave it...

drats. i'm tired. i guess i'll be off for now..and there are so many movies i wanna watch like right now. SO MANY like practically all the movies now. i need to watch something!! :X

i've got to see you again.