capture those moments

cheryl francisca 23 nov 88’ <3 ly, God, family, thesexies, asher my keys, singing yea!

Thursday, March 10, 2005, Thursday, March 10, 2005

Tmr's rockafellaskank. I'm pretty scared and excited. Rehearsals today were like scary, i feel like i don't own the stage at all. for once, i'm going up to stage and singing vocals. but that isn't a bad thing, no don't get me wrong.. i'm just saying.. i feel out of place kinda.
maybe things have been going a a little rough lately, i so miss him. don't even know anything. sometimes i feel so small, sometimes i feel so insecure. is this normal? : sometimes i'm not even sure if i mean that much. it hurts sometimes. little thoughts that creep up to me, why cant they leave me alone? it's only in the night where i feel you closest to me sometimes.. i need you. don't you know? im hurting all over trying to figure out why i feel so insecure. you're busy. i'm busy.. i don't think i can do anything. i just hope u feel the same.
the world's a monster in a child's play, and the monsters fade so fast.

but where are u, i wanna watch the flowers grow with you..with you. i close my eyes and there is the darkness i see ur light, you come to me out of my dreams across, the night. i miss you so much. of all the times that we spent into the long lazy hours in the afternoons, or late nights. i feel like there's so much of us together, but yet there's so much of this uncomfortable arena in my life. i don't know if you feel it too? maybe i'm being a shit ass sensitive feminist in the world. i don't know.. damn. i just wish some things needn't be too traditional. wish you could spend more time with me. maybe i guess i had seen this coming right from the very start of this all but wells.. i'm not sure if it is any worse off or better than what i had imagined it to be.

i dun know if i'm the only one still thinking so much of you just like how we started off, dun know if you're still wanting as much to go out with me that often. are you getting bored or me, maybe you will in due time. i'm just praying that it doesn't ever happen, of course. i can't sleep at night, i think of you. wondering if you're thinking of me as much. i know you hate me for saying all these, you don't like hearing 'em, but baby, i'm feeling left-out from ur life, a little i guess. but that's enough to make me feel wweird. i need you more than you think i really do. i don't want anything bad to happen to us, i'm not going to think of the end cause ya i don't want to even think the word 'end' will be listed down in our dictionary. oh wells. i dun know if you're ever going to read this. well if you do.. i hope you understand what i mean.
dun get me wrong. i still love you.