For all I know the past 4 days coming 5 have been crawling past me. Everything seemed so long since it happened, everything..just seemed so unreal. Pictures still hanging around on my shelf.. u must know i cant do it that easily, alone. and i wonder how you're coping.

Going to church mass today was perhaps the most comforting thing this entire week being in sch, esp getting back all my yucky results and all and the part where physical PAIN sets in when i just got me retainers AGAIN. It's stress, it's chemical, it's the age?( haha quote, our mid years lit paper) I swear I almost cried during the end of mass, it was a calling back to reality, back to God and everything around me. And i'm always made to feel so loved and warm back in SFX. what a great way to end your hard week in sch huh?

Really really glad that im back in the church, singing as part of the mass, being with friends whom i've come to feel these times, to be full of LOVE and friendship. And like tonight's last minute plan to eat dinner with a whole gang of them. It was really cool. x) really look forward to nxt sat's practice again cause i cant make it tmr thanks to CIP at toa payoh tmr. I hope my friends turn up.

oh oh! how can i forget? SARI-HUNTING with christine today was wickedly COOL!! i love it. All the bangles, the nonsense.THE GIRLY STUFFS. Will finally get to wear it this coming thurs!! some heat must have come over me, to make me make a big fuss out of an event i would never have bothered with before. yay!!! SOME happiness, SOME progress. Really rather satisfied with me life now, being busy all the time. at least it gets me away frm those unproductive wastage of thinking abt stuffs i shouldn't be.

sometimes it really feels lonely seeing that you've no one to go home with, or hang out and eat lunch/dinner with. But then again, sometimes it doesn't really matter I guess. It's like sometimes even beneath the peaceful surface there is darkness and turbulence below.. Like violence you killed me.

it's like 66 more days to promos? around there i suppose.. getting scary. i'm going to study real hard and get Bs and of course if i can, As. PTM is coming next sat and i'm scared. I don't want to face my form tcher n have her blabbering on abt how worse i've done and how much more i could have done yada yada.. so naggy. haix sch's getting kinda sickening, got stupid EoM draft to hand up, AHHH.. more homework and that reminds me I have files to clear and a test to study for. I HAVE LOTSA WORK. i dun wanna do them. Can I pay someone? Anyone at all? : eeks. laziness is POISONOUS.

I really am getting sick, felt feverish just now during mass.. gotta rest more. And yes another day awaits me... CIP, i gotta brace myself first. i dont think i'll survive.

as for things on my mind, i've come to accept e fact that it's time I drop the final curtain and carry on to the finale, i have to try. There are so many people out there that i cannot let down and friends that i can't lose. I miss them, miss talking to them cause of my self entrapment.

Love you all who have been here for me, whether you know it or not, a little love goes a looong way! :) don't worry, I'm not that easily broken down. I'll get back up, you'll see.. you will. ;D