i know girls tend to feel more, tend to remember the silliest of things. like a day today.
what a special day it is and it's just over, like that. without you.

today was one exceptionally long ardous day in sch. everything went wrong right from the moment i woke up. missed the bus. forget my PE attire, didn't do my work. shit happens. whats worse u came running through my mind over and over again the whole day.

staring at the board
wondering whether you woke up on time for school,
if you had dreamt anything nice at all,
whether you had eaten or not.
u're just always on my mind.

i guess you probably never would know how much little things like going out with me for the first time to celebrate our special day could mean. and notice we never celebrated anything just you and i. my bdae, our first month, our first new year proper. am i just asking for too much?

ate dinner with xiao di today, walked around. retail therapy sucked, nothing worked. and i bet u didn't know why i ate fried mars bars, why i went all the way to see you, even if i couldn't speak to you and even if you didn't see me. watermelon milkshakes are no longer special.

you used to laugh so much
you used to smile with your eyes
the way you whisper over the phone.
i want to feel like its the first time everytime.

i want you back. now. will you come home and stop this pain tonight?

sometimes when you say things, don't you know it hurts so bad inside to hear how much I actually mean to you. God knows what i'm doing hanging around here, feels like you don't need me around with you. you'll be ok when you are, when's that ever going to be? are you even going to read this at all? i guess not. what have i done to deserve this from you.
the pain keeps pricking at me. how long more do you wanna make me suffer?

please please please. come back. i miss you so much.