You know, there are things in life that make you really excited for that one moment because you thought that it's going to be the best decision of your life, and then afterwards when reality starts kicking in you realise you're in for the worst ride of your life. Life is so unexpected, yes we all know that right, but to have things turn out this way? No, i really am not prepared. This thing really means a lot to me but to many, upon hearing this they would rather jump off a building than believe me. so there you have it..

Sometimes I lay in bed at night, restless from all the thoughts running through my mind, wondering if I'm the only idiot up at unearthly hours trying to find a inconclusive answer. And then just somehow, my answer came. All that I once thought I could hold on to, just seemed to dissipate, and what am I left with to hold on to? nothing.. absolutely nothing tangible. All that I have is just memories, and a few friendships left dangling on the line above. Maybe at this point of my life, I'm ready to say, "Hey world, take me on, I'm ready to do this now." Maybe I shouldn't hesitate no more. Stop the lies and hypocrisies, they'll be needed no more in front of me, I'm honestly not as stupid as I pretend to be.

I'm just too tired to fight this battle on anymore, I surrender, you guys have won and I totally one-hundred-percent admit defeat. So rejoice, I'm giving in.

I think you're beginning to get what i'm trying to get at. Decisions in life are hard to make but necessary when you are left with a gun against your head. I either save my life or wait to be killed, and I'd opt for the latter anytime. I'm sorry for every saying anything, my presence itself has already caused chaos (not good ones of course) and it's time I paid my dues. I'm so tired of trying so hard in front of people who are blinded. Whatever you want to think of me, it's fine now. I'm too tired of argueing, or explaining. Like I said earlier, I admit it, I've lost this. yes, this is the me you're seeing these few times, im sorry i cant help it. If I knew all this would be so painful, I'd never have started this ever.

but I've got to say I'm not sorry meeting all the great friends that I have during this journey, I really do appreciate and love you guys a lot. Thnkx for making life so much more bearable for me.

and hey you, you're never going to know how I feel ever, and even if you do, would it ever be possible?

So alright, i'd better get back to doing up my arrangement by sun or face kissing my graduation days goodbye.

Happy Easter in advance folks! :)